Life Lessons

Appreciate the gifts you are given

In life, we are promised nothing from this world. For those of us that are blessed enough to actually make it out of the womb and into this world, we are entitled to nothing more than the breath in our lungs. Everything else is a gift. Everything else, from mother's milk to clothes, toys, education, a home to live in and everything in between, is given to us by someone else. These things, these... blessings, are gifts that we should never take for granted.

Life isn't fragile

We've all heard it before- "life is fragile." No it isn't. Life is tough. Life is resilient. Life is robust and life is long, relatively speaking that is. A baby's life is more fragile than say, a 30 year old's... that's true, I suppose. But one could argue that a 30 year old will not heal as quickly from a broken leg as a rambunctious five year old. Fragility is relative and to label "life" as being something that is somehow so precarious that even the slightest fall or lowest fever, could suddenly spiral it into the cold grip of death, is simply absurd. 

We, being the sentient creatures that we are, love to analyze our own existence. We can't help ourselves- from the time we are born, we measure our age, our growth, our success and even our lifespan. As a child, we want to grow up. As grown-ups, we wish we could be kids again. We count our birthdays; as kids- anticipating the next one; as adults- dreading it. 

We also worry. We love to worry about things that are outside of our control. So much so, that we take for granted many, or all, of the blessings that we have. 

The Serenity Prayer

I'm not what some might call "overly religious." I don't attend church regularly, in fact, I'm not proud to admit that it has been quite a long time since I've actually crossed the threshold of our little country church. It's not because I don't believe, nor is it because I've lost my way. Instead, as a child growing up, I was taught that God doesn't require an altar, nor does He require a special building for His children to seek and find Him in. Every home, is a church and a place of worship can be found at every blade of grass or grain of sand. We should seek Him out everywhere we go and in everything we do. Churches are nice places to find fellowship, but they are not the only houses of God... or at least they shouldn't be. But I digress.

As a young boy, my dad taught me a simple prayer that I would later learn was inspired by the Book of Isaiah, chapter 41, verse 10. While my dad didn't cite the location of this prayer's inspiration in the Good book, he perfectly recited the prayer, as follows:

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

This prayer, written (as best we know) by Reinhold Niebuhr in the early 1930's, was believed to be inspired by God's message to Isaiah: 

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. 

What a great message of hope and strength... that we as "intellectual beings" often ignore and, as a result, erode our own lives with self-induced stress and worry.

Not a bible lesson, but a life lesson

You're probably wondering, if you're still reading this, what my point is. You might even be wondering why a father would teach his adolescent son a prayer that would become the mantra of recovering addicts and you might even be wondering what the heck any of this has to do with motorcycles. Well folks, this isn't a bible lesson, but it is a life lesson. You see, my dad taught me that prayer because, at the time, I was worried about something, so insignificant, that I don't even remember what it was now. At that moment, when he sat me down and said, "son, listen to me for a minute", then taught me those simple yet comforting words, my life changed. I recited it, took a deep breath and let all that stress and worry go. Growing up, I've recited that prayer hundreds, if not thousands, of times. As a father, I've taught it to my sons and as a good Christian man, I've shared it with anyone that I've seen struggling.

I wish...

We spend so much time worrying about what might happen, that we often forget what could happen. We also waste our lives making wishes. What is a wish, anyway? It's an empty, hollow, meaningless hope that some one or some thing will somehow take control over our lives and make them better without us having to do anything, take any risks or put in any efforts. We've all done it... we've wished to be taller, shorter, slimmer, more fit, better looking, smarter, more successful, etc, etc, etc. Whatever you're wishing for, ask yourself these two questions- "can I do anything about it?" and "what am I doing about it?" If you wish you were taller, well, you may not be able to do anything about that... but if you wish you were more fit, then get your butt in gear and start exercising. Either way, you need to accept that there are some things you can't change, and some things you can... you just need to be smart enough to know which is which. When you do, that's when you can find some peace. That's what Isaiah is asking God for in the Serenity Prayer.

What if...

What and if. These are two, otherwise harmless, words in the English language that when put together, often stop us from achieving greatness or experiencing something amazing. For example, you might say, "what if... I am riding a motorcycle and I crash and get paralyzed or even die?" To which, I might reply- "what if... you go out and experience something on the back of that bike that you would have completely missed if not for taking the risk of riding, and afterwards, you ride back home, safe and sound, at the end of the day with a wonderful memory that you will cherish for the rest of your life?" I could go on with the "what if" scenarios... but I don't need to and honestly, I don't want to. You know what you've been "what-iffing" and I don't need to point out to you, what you've missed as a result of being too afraid to take those leaps of faith.

Life isn't precarious, but it is precious. Life isn't short, but it is fleeting. We are blessed with an intellect that is advanced beyond the creatures in nature, but we are the ones that worry about what tomorrow will bring, or fear what will happen if we take any kind of risk. I would imagine that if dogs could talk, we'd hear them laughing about how they jumped, blindly, into the pond (or pool for you folks that live in suburbia) after their ball, without giving the temperature or the depth of the water a second thought, and if bears had opposable thumbs, we might very well see a grizzly riding a motorcycle.

Gentle or not, we all go into that good, dark night

Whether you favor the words of Rohini Sunderam's, 'Let Me Go Gentle into That Dark Night' or Dylan Thomas', 'Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night'... one thing is certain, we will all go into that metaphorical night that they both speak of. Once we close our eyes and return to that darkness one final time, we won't have another opportunity to take that chance, face that fear or experience that moment.

So live your life while you still can. Be responsible, make good choices, assess what risks are worth taking and plan your life like your going to live forever, but live like it's your last day. Appreciate all of the blessings that you have been given and don't waste your time on wishes. Don't stress out over things that you can't change. Make the changes that you can to make your life, and this world, a little better and don't "what if" yourself out of experiencing all of the happiness that you have the potential to achieve. 

***Edit, January 23, 2021: When I wrote this post back in October, I mistakenly cited the location of the Serenity Prayer to be scripture in the Book of Isaiah, Chapter 41, verse 10. I don't know how I came up with that, perhaps it was too much trust in a popular search engine or maybe I wasn't properly caffeinated. Either way, I have edited the above content to reflect the correct-ish information.