Who am I and why the hell should you care about reading my blog?

Avid motorcyclist & freelance writer, specializing in motorcycles & motorcycle related topics, with a healthy dose of good humor, good vibes & general advice on simply being a good person.

Monday, June 13, 2022

Social Anxiety

I don't like people

Actually, that is as inaccurate as it is accurate...let me explain.

Ever since I was a little kid, I've been a bit of a loner, which probably explains a lot about why I love motorcycles so much. It's not that I don't like people, it's that I don't enjoy being in large crowds of people. I prefer being alone, or in smaller, more intimate, groups of people with whom I share a common interest. 

I've always enjoyed the peace of solitude. When I was a little kid, we would visit my grandparents in rural Missouri and one of my favorite things to do was go hiking in the woods next to their house. The smell of the forest, the sounds of the birds, bugs and wild animals just living their lives and knowing that I was a part of their world, just the same as I was a part of my own that was filled with concrete, cars and people, gave me comfort. Knowing that an escape from the hustle and bustle of our busy world was just a few steps into the woods brought me a special comfort that I still enjoy to this day.


There is often a negative perception of people who are "disconnected." If you choose to live off the grid, you are thought of as being a recluse. If you choose to live off the land, you are thought of as being a hippy, or worse, a doomsday prepper. If you choose to simply kill off your social media accounts, you are thought of as being anti-social. Recently, I did just that, or at least I'm trying. I've deactivated the social media pages for The MotoWriter and have been making a valiant effort to deactivate my personal Facebook page (but conveniently for Meta and their data mining efforts, there is an "unknown error" that is preventing me from doing so). It's not that I'm being anti-social, but let's be honest with ourselves for a moment- how many of your social media "friends" are actually your friends? I've got a lot of acquaintances, but very few actual friends. To be clear, when I say actual friends, I'm referring to those people who contribute to my life as much as I contribute to theirs- the small handful of folks who simply enjoy having a conversation with me over a cup of coffee and who have been there for me through triumph and tragedy. They are the people in your life that never asks for, or expects, anything from you other than fellowship.

Social Anxiety Disorder

I'm not one to validate ailments. I refuse to believe that every wild ass kid has ADD or ADHD. When I was a kid, those "conditions" weren't solved by medication- they were solved with parents who weren't afraid to snatch a knot in my ass when I got too wild or tried to be disrespectful. We didn't have "time-outs"... we had a leather belt across the ass and manual labor in the form of yard work on a beautiful weekend. There were no participation trophies or entitlements- we learned to have respect for our parents, earned rewards for our hard work, learned how to live with disappointment and failures and we learned to work hard and keep trying until we got it right. 

I read about something once called Social Anxiety Disorder and, by reading it, I guess you could say that I might have that. I don't like being in or around large groups of people, get irrationally nervous in social situations and my wife and I have avoided more events over the years, due to our own irrational anxiety, than we can count on all of our fingers and toes combined. When I was a kid, we used to just call it being shy, but of course now, everything has to have a diagnosis followed by a prescription medication. I refuse to submit to Alice's world of taking a pill for everything, so instead, I self medicate with the most effective therapy I've ever found- mototherapy.


Motorcycles are my grown up instrument of solitude. Just like when I would cross that fence and walk off into the woods as a kid, as an adult, when I'm on my motorcycle, I become completely immersed in my own thoughts, observations and solitude. I'm able to disconnect from all of the things that my eyes have seen, escape the sounds of this chaotic world and immerse myself in the simple joys of just being alive. There is no room for scrolling, filtered photos, fake virtue signaling, or lip-synced videos when you're riding... there is only room for riding. Both hands and feet, working together with my eyes and instincts to control the motorcycle, which becomes an extension of my body, as it glides through the backroads and tree lined two lane highways. Riding through pockets of cool air, alongside rivers and streams and under shadows of trees and clouds as the fresh air of the countryside fills my lungs is the best kind emotional and psychological therapy. 

Genuine people welcome

We are living in a society that praises the fake. The more ridiculous it is, the more popular it becomes. Genuine people get shunned, shamed and abandoned in this new world we live in. Not here though, not in my world or in my circle. Those folks that are flawed, insecure, afraid or suffer from social anxiety are welcome to ride along with me anytime. Drop your guard and enjoy life. Embrace your flaws and don't be too nervous to get embarrassed, too cool to be silly or too scared to take the road less travelled. 

Seek only that which is real- real friendships, real experiences and real adventures. Give your love freely, but only give it those that will cherish and respect it. Don't be afraid to get hurt. Remember that your life matters, what you want matters and that your time here is limited-  don't waste it on people or things that don't fill your metaphorical cup. 

Ride safe and make good choices, y'all- I hope to see you out there living your best lives.

For those of you that keep coming back to my little corner of the web to read my words... thank you.
Love ya... 
J.D. (aka, The MotoWriter)