Blessings

God doesn't call you on the phone or send you a text... but he does talk to you and answer your prayers. Just not the way you expect, sometimes.

Look, you don't have to believe in God, that is your choice and I'm not going to try to force my beliefs on you in this blog or on my YouTube channel- that's not what The MotoWriter  is all about. With that said, however, I do believe in God and I believe that, while we don't always hear or see His work, He is always protecting us and keeping us safe.

Broken cables, dead batteries and flat tires- DANG IT!!

How many times have you been out riding, stopped for gas and, when you hit that start button, the only sound you hear is the clicking of the starter solenoid? Have you ever gone out to the garage, fully intent on racking up some miles on an absolutely beautiful day, only to see one of the tires is flattened against the concrete? Or what about, when you're out riding with a couple of your buddies to celebrate a birthday, only to get about a third of the way before the throttle cable on your buddy's antique motorcycle breaks? 

When things like that happen, it's easy to get caught up in the moment, get mad, shake your fist to the sky and ask why you've been forsaken, but have you ever thought that the breakdown might have been God's way of keeping you from harm somewhere further down the road? What if that throttle cable snapping was the answer to your loved one's prayer, asking God to keep you safe? What if that flat tire or dead battery was God's way of stalling you, just long enough to let the truck that was going to run a red light and smash into you, get through the intersection without incident?

It's all about perspective.

I don't pretend to know everything, nor should any of us. I can't say that I've never been annoyed, thrown a tool across the garage or cursed the rain clouds when I wanted to ride and I definitely won't sit here and tell you that I've always had the best attitude about things. What I can say, however, is that the older I get the more I realize just exactly what is, and what isn't, in our control. I can also tell you that with adversity there comes opportunity- I've seen proof of that more times in my life than I can count. 

We should embrace that adversity and learn from it; become better versions of ourselves every time we are faced with a challenge. Life caters to no one and time rolls on, whether we are having a good time riding our motorcycles or if we are broken down in the parking lot of a casino with a couple of our best friends. We should be thankful that the trip didn't end tragically and be grateful for the laughs we shared and the camaraderie we had. 

Good friends, good times and the blessings of the day.

By now you've probably figured out that this piece is directly related to my latest video that I uploaded to my YouTube channel last week. If you haven't seen it, I made it simple for you to find, by linking to it in second paragraph of this post (and I just snuck it in again, here). My plan that day was to bring my two best pals down the coastline, through a few backroads, across the state line and end up at a restaurant & brewhouse for lunch, before making our way back to our respective homes, via some scenic and somewhat winding backroads. 

While we didn't end up at our pre-planned destination, we did end up spending some good quality time riding, laughing and helping each other out. We proved that day, that good times with good friends don't always have to go as planned. With a little faith, a good attitude about our predicament and a little bit of bailing wire and some roadside ingenuity... we still managed to have a great day on our motorcycles and isn't that what it's all about anyway?

Writer's note- 

As I wrote this post, the fact that today marks the 15th anniversary of the day that Hurricane Katrina devastated the Mississippi, Louisiana and Alabama coastline, was not lost on me. Nor was the fact that the people of western Louisiana and eastern Texas are now suffering through similar devastation from Hurricane Laura. Adversity has a way of bringing out the best in people, when you have enough faith to see it, that is. 15 years ago I, along with so many others, saw our coastal home devastated so badly, that I wasn't  sure that we could ever recover from it. But we did. We pulled together, helped each other out and supported each other as Americans, Southerners and most of all, children of God. While our communities still bare the scars that mark that tragic day, we have rebuilt our homes, our cities and our neighborhoods... even better than what they were before that fateful day 15 years ago. 

This message is for all those who are suffering- have faith, help each other, trust in God to give you strength and He will. Don't lose hope- you will recover from this; you will because you must. 

From the MotoWriter, and all of your friends and neighbors to the east, we are praying for your strength and speedy recovery. 

Infatuation

Why are motorcyclists so infatuated with riding?

The very idea of riding a motorcycle can be terrifying for some, but for others, it's as essential to life as breathing. Why is it then, that such a stark contrast of emotions can be derived from such a simple machine?

What is a motorcycle?

Merriam-Webster's dictionary defines a motorcycle as: an automotive vehicle with two in-line wheels. Well, there you have it- how very technically accurate of them. It's not an incorrect definition; after all, motorcycles do have a motor and two wheels that are in-line with each other, but for so many of us, motorcycles are much, much more than this simple, and somewhat, diminutive definition would suggest.

Stress reliever and therapist

As I've previously mentioned in my blog and in my videos, my motorcycle is my stress relief- my therapist, if you will. After a long, stressful day at work, I look forward to getting on my motorcycle for what I like to call my "mototherapy." There's just something relaxing about coming home from work after a long, crappy day at the office and getting in the saddle. There are few things more relaxing than feeling the wind on my face, seeing the sun setting behind the tall, lanky southern pines and ancient oak trees and hearing the cicadas, crickets and tree frogs chirping and buzzing the final moments of daylight away. Just being on the bike while the sun slowly melts into the horizon, turning the trees into black silhouettes starkly contrasted by the fading orange, pink and blue sky, creating a hauntingly beautiful skyline, makes it feel like you're on the canvas of a masterpiece while it's being created. I know that may sound silly to some, but my fellow motorcycle riders know exactly what I'm talking about. 

The answer is in the question

Riding a motorcycle isn't something that you just do, it's something that you are a part of. You drive a car, but you ride a motorcycle. In a car, you are surrounded by layers of metal, fabric, foam and glass... much of which is completely unused on a daily basis. On a motorcycle though, you are on it- you are a part of it. You are the component that keeps it from falling over on it's side while at a stop. You must use both hands and both feet to operate it. The speed of the machine is directly proportional to the amount of movement you put in your wrist and the steering and control of the bike is directly and immediately influenced by even the slightest shift of your body. Riding a motorcycle isn't something that you simply do, but rather, it is a completely immersive activity. Being a motorcyclist isn't something that you do, it is something that you become. 

An emotional response

Motorcycles evoke emotions from, almost, everyone. Whether its excitement, anxiety, fear or elation, when someone sees a motorcycle ride by, they feel it. Small kids sitting in the rear seats of their mom and dad's beige SUV's and baby blue minivans, will sit and stare at a biker stopped for traffic. Kids and grown-ups alike tend to have an uncontrollable urge to wave at motorcycles as they ride by. Many of us can even remember a time in our childhood, when we saw (or heard) a motorcycle cruise past our house, or pass up the family truckster while we were taking a road trip to see grandma and grandpa. Even those among us that don't ride have some kind of motorcycle story to tell. 

Speaking of motorcycles

Every rider has his or her own story of how they learned to ride and, if you give them enough time, they'll be more than happy to tell you what got them into it. We can't help it, we love to share our passion for riding with other people. When someone gets inspired to try it out for themselves... we can barely contain our excitement for them. We want to share our successes and failures, tips and riding advice with them. We genuinely want them to be good, safe riders. When someone crashes their bike, we rally around them, supporting them and helping them heal... many times not even knowing them personally. We help them fix their motorcycle, or find a new one if it can't be repaired.

In the motorcycling community, we believe in helping each other out. It's common knowledge that if you see a fellow biker on the side of the road, you stop and check on him or her. Lending a hand and offering help isn't something that we have to be told to do, it's just something that we do, because we know it's the right thing to do.

Leather clad angels on two wheels

Motorcyclists are some of the most gracious, charitable and genuinely helpful people in our communities. The motorcycling community as a whole is responsible for donating millions of dollars a year to some of the most honorable and worthy causes in our communities. From raising money and collecting clothing for the local family that lost their house in a fire, to donating toys for underprivileged kids, to giving hundreds of thousands of dollars every year to the American Cancer Society or Saint Jude's Children's Hospital, it's easy to see that not all angels have wings and a halo, some of them wear leather vests and helmets. 

When a police officer, firefighter or service member dies, there is usually some kind of procession of motorcyclists there to honor and respect the fallen hero. Often, you will see a mix of both police motor officers and civilian riders, slowly rolling together to honor the dead. Sometimes, the riders will park their bikes along the roadway, heads bowed and hands over their hearts, or arms stiffly raised to their brow in respectful salute, to show grace and pay their respect to the family of the fallen. 

One bad apple

Many people associate all motorcyclists with the "gangs" they see on television shows and news reports. There are, literally, millions of dollars to be made on selling these stories to the masses. Shows like Sons of Anarchy and America Undercover are proof of that. The ironic part is that most of these storied clubs refer to themselves as "one percenters", meaning that they, themselves, acknowledge that they only make up about one percent of the motorcycling community. That means that out of 100 motorcycle riders you come across, only one of them will potentially be a self-admitted "outlaw." That means that the other 99 are good, honest, law abiding citizens that just happen to ride motorcycles. Another ironic detail that many folks don't want to admit, is that even the guys wearing those ominous looking patches on their backs, will often stop to offer assistance to a fellow motorcycle rider that's broken down or crashed. We rarely see that kind of camaraderie among other groups of people, with old car enthusiasts being one of the very few exceptions. 

As kids, we are taught (or at least we should be) not to judge an entire group of people based on the actions of a few, so why do we allow all motorcyclists to be judged and condemned because of the actions of a few bad apples? Why do we propagate the fear of horrible crashes, bloody highways and instant death as a result of riding motorcycles to our kids? How many times have you heard "motorcycles are dangerous, I know a guy that knew a guy, whose best friend was killed in a horrible motorcycle crash"? That seems to be such a common comment. Of course, a little research into the story might often implicate the operator of said motorcycle of some poor decision making and reckless operation of his machine... both of which would have more than likely led that poor schmuck to the same fate had he been behind the wheel of a Buick, instead of being perched atop a Kawasaki.

Teach the kids to respect the ride

Instead of teaching the, inevitable, next generation of riders to be afraid of their machines, why not teach them to embrace them? I refer to them as the "inevitable next generation of riders" simply because most kids (and many adults who refuse to grow old) will always seek to quench their thirst for excitement with the satisfying libation that is riding. 

Instead of teaching the next generation to fear the power of the machine, we should teach them how to harness it. Instead of telling them they will die, we should be teaching them how not to. Proper gear, good techniques and plenty of practice are all great points to cover. Many people may not realize this, but a little known fact is that good, well practiced and experienced motorcycle riders are actually much better car drivers, too. They tend to look further down the road, anticipate the actions of other drivers faster and are generally more alert to adverse driving conditions. We never hear about them though, because we only track statistics of bad drivers- not good ones.

The final answer and my final thought

So, why are motorcyclists so infatuated with riding their bikes? Because motorcycles are more personal to each individual rider- the fitment, the power and the overall ride of every motorcycle is uniquely specific, and finely tuned to each rider and his or her preferences. We do this on purpose. We customize our bikes to make them fit us and our needs. We want to express our individuality and our personality in the bikes that we ride because we form a bond with the machine- we trust it, we take care of it, and in return, it will take care of us- both physically and mentally.

I suppose that Merriam-Webster's definition probably is the best, though. After all, if we tried to actually define our beloved motorcycles by what they actually are and what they mean for us, the definition would probably be 7 pages long and non-riders probably still wouldn't understand. 

The motorcycle wave- do you do it?

Among the many awesome things about being a motorcycle rider is the camaraderie that we have with fellow motorcycle riders. Often, that can be seen, and expressed, with a simple gesture- the left arm, extended out and low, often with a couple of fingers extended, just to say, "hello" to a passing motorcyclist.

But why do some people wave and others don't and are there rules or guidelines as to who, or what kind of bike, you should wave at? For example, if you ride a Harley-Davidson or an Indian cruiser, should you wave at someone on a sport bike or... *gasp*... a scooter? If you are on an Adventure motorcycle or a Motard bike, is it acceptable to throw a wave at a guy on Honda Goldwing or a lady on a Can-Am Spyder? And what about those little bikes like the Honda Ruckus' or the Groms? After all, it can be tricky to determine what kind of rider is approaching, when all you can see on the road in front of you is the glow of a headlight. 

With so many types and styles of motorcycles out there on the road, it can get a bit confusing, so please allow me to help guide you and give you some direction with one simple piece of advice: 

Don't be a snob and just wave at everybody on two wheels.

I live by a very simple philosophy- if you ride, you're a rider. It doesn't matter what you ride, as long as you are experiencing and enjoying the thrill of being on two (or sometimes three) wheels. We all started somewhere, riding whatever kind of motorcycle that we could afford at the time, so why would you snub someone on a different type of bike? If you are stuck in the mindset of not waving at other riders, then that's your prerogative and I'm not here to change your opinion on the matter, but if you're a bike or brand snob, I hope you remember that you think you're better than everyone when you break down or, God forbid, crash. Don't let that sport bike rider stop and help you out with a flat tire and make sure that you refuse the gas can from the retired woman wearing hi-vis gear who just rode up on a three wheeled Spyder. Make sure that you tell them that you're too good to wave at them while riding, therefore you're too good to accept their help when you break down.

Honestly, if you're the kind of person that thinks you're too good to wave at other riders, then you probably just need to sell your bike and get a car because you just don't get it. Riding isn't about brands, or styles of motorcycles. It's about the freedom of the open road, the exhilaration of feeling the wind in our faces as we straddle a machine that pulls us down the road in a way that connects us to the world around us. It's something that not everyone can do. It's a special skill reserved for the fearless and bold. That's why so many of us believe in acknowledging other people who share that special bond with us.

I wave at everybody on two wheels. Everybody. 

I'm like Forrest Gump waving at "Loo-tin-ant Dan!" 

Oh, you're on a two-stroke moped from 1977? Cool, here's a wave, dude. Badass custom-built chopper? Boom! You get a wave. Sport bike chick? Goldwing rider wearing full, hi-vis yellow, gear in the middle of summer? ADV rider that still has mud dripping off the fenders? Luxury liner trike or Can-Am Spyder? Boom! Bam! Wham! Wave, wave and yes, another wave! 

Look, I don't care what you ride... if you're brave enough to straddle your particular machine, fire that puppy up and share the road with grandma Jenkins in her Buick Roadmaster, then we have something in common. If you share the thrill of riding, embrace the freedom of the open road and you're in the wind, then that's all the criteria I need to give you a wave. 

                      

Can Indian Motorcycles really claim they've been around "Since 1901"?

We've all seen their ads... "Indian Motorcycles, America's First Motorcycle Company, Since 1901."

BUT... how true is that, really? I always say that an omission of the truth is still a lie and isn't that what Indian Motorcycles is doing here? Omitting key facts and details about their heritage? After all, they've only been resurrected this last time since 2014, thanks to Polaris Industries buying the rights to the name. For that matter, if we're being fair... can Harley-Davidson really claim that they've been around since 1903? Let's not forget that the American Machine and Foundry Company, aka AMF, bought out Harley-Davidson Motor Company in 1969. Well, the easy argument here is that Harley-Davidson has been in constant production since 1903, where Indian has not. 

So, let's take a closer look at the history of Indian Motorcycles and how they have evolved to their latest iteration. 

In 1897 George Hendee started a bicycle company, with one of the popular models being the "American Indian" or "Indian" for short. Now, this wasn't unique, after all, William Harley and the Davidson boys were building bicycles, too. They just had a much smaller operation. At some point, some ole boy decided to mount an engine on one of these bicycle frames and the motorcycle was born. Who did this first is up for debate... because it seems like everyone claims to be the first ones that did it. Either way, it was done and every bicycle manufacturer with any sense jumped on the idea and ran with it. Back then, there were a plethora of choices when it came to picking a motorcycle- Excelsior, Indian, Harley-Davidson, Pierce, Merkel, Marks, Thor, Norton, Triumph... the list goes on. 

Hendee established the Hendee Indian Motorcycle Company and they produced their first motorcycle in 1901, while Harley and the Davidson brothers built their first production bike two years later, in 1903. So that's a win for Indian... they can claim to be established in 1901.

Before we get ahead of ourselves though, let's talk about that little, unfortunate detail from the early 1950's first. Indian Motorcycle enthusiasts absolutely HATE it when Harley guys bring up 1953. You see, that's when the original Indian Motorcycle company went tits up for the very first time. So... if we were engraving the Indian Motorcycle headstone, it would say, "Indian Motorcycles, 1901-1953." Look, 52 years of building motorcycles isn't actually a bad run, especially when you consider that so many of those other American motorcycle companies had long since passed away by the 1950's. 

Indian's demise actually started in 1930, though. That's when the Hendee Manufacturing Company, sold the company to Paul DuPont (yep... the paint guy). In 1945, DuPont decided to sell the company to Ralph Rogers. Why,  you might ask, would George Hendee allow the board of directors to sell off his beloved motorcycle company in the first place? Well that's easy... he had no say in the matter. Hendee "retired" from his company years earlier, in 1916, after he had a disagreement with the board of directors about the direction of the company. George Hendee was raising cattle when all this was going on, unlike the founders of the Harley-Davidson Motorcycle Company, who were still very much in control of their company.

In 1950, Rogers hired John Brockhouse, of Brockhouse Engineering Company out of jolly old England, to preside over the company. After several failed attempts to compete with the British companies and their lightweight bikes, Indian Motorcycle Company walked it's death march under Rogers' ownership, ceasing operations in 1953. When Rogers was liquidating the company, Brockhouse bought the rights to the Indian name and logos, recognizing their potential marketing value. He started selling small, lightweight, air-cooled Royal Enfield motorcycles rebadged with Indian logos, but the venture turned out to be, yet another, dismal failure and seven years later, in 1960, the Indian Motorcycle name died again.

For several decades, Indian Motorcycle Company was the biggest (American) threat to the Harley-Davidson Motor Company and as such, they always kept them on their toes. The spirit of competition is what drives companies to try to outdo each other and make better, more affordable products for their customers. When Indian shuttered it's doors in 1953, Harley-Davidson started getting lazy... so much so that in the next decade, their sales waned and they were being forced to meet the same fate. Had it not been for the American Machine and Foundry Company buying them in 1969, Harley-Davidson would be just another page in the history books, much like all the rest. But this isn't about Harley-Davidson... this is about Indian... so where were they during all this? 

Dead. Indian was dead. After Brockhouse's failure, he sold the rights to the Indian name and logos to Associated Motor Cycles of England, who held on to them from 1960-1963. Floyd Clymer (the service manual guy) bought the rights from them and held on to them from 1963 until he died in 1970. His widow sold them to Alan Newman who had them until his failed company went bankrupt in 1977. American Moped Associates bought the Indian name and head dress logo in 1977 and used them on their Derbi-Manco go-cart engines until 1984. From 1984-1994, there were several talks, and even a couple of attempts, at re-starting Indian as a motorcycle company, but none of them ever got off the ground, so it appeared as if Indian's story had finally reached the end.

Or so we thought. In 1998, a small group of investors was awarded the rights to the Indian motorcycle name and logos in a Colorado bankruptcy court and announced their intent to bring back the Indian Motorcycle Company, over 45 years after the last real Indian motorcycle rolled off the assembly line. The group was based out of Gilroy, California... across the continent from Indian's original birthplace of Springfield, Massachusetts. The investors called their company, the Indian Motorcycle Company of America, or IMCA for short. They built their first machine for the 1999 model year using an S&S clone of Harley-Davidson's Evolution Engine. They built the Spirit, the Scout and the Chief... right up until they went bankrupt 4 years later, in 2003. The Indian was dead again... more or less.

Five years later, in 2008, a company called Stellican Ltd (the owners of the Chris Craft Boat Company based in England), bought the rights to the Indian name from IMCA and they, once again, breathed life back into the company using a factory in the mountains of North Carolina. Stellican Indians were beautiful machines and, unlike their IMCA counterparts, had their own unique engine (not a Harley-Davidson clone). The problem? They were expensive. Really expensive. Stellican Ltd held on to Indian for a whopping three years before selling the whole shebang to Polaris Industries of Minnesota in 2011.

It took Polaris three years to develop and premiere their first production Indian Motorcycle, taking many features from their other brand, Victory, instead of using the Stellican platform. Polaris developed their Indian's power plant using the Victory engine as the platform, utilizing a one piece engine and transmission unit, instead of using individual components like it's predecessors (and Harley-Davidson). Polaris introduced their new Indian Motorcycle Company to the world with the Chief Vintage. It had long, sweeping lines, full skirted fenders and fringe and tassels reminiscent of the 1930's. The most important detail though, was the price tag. Unlike the previous iterations, the Polaris Indian was actually affordable on a working man's salary.

So, with all that said, let's ask the questions again and let's see if we can answer them without stirring the pot too much for my Indian riding friends (Lee, Mike and Brian, I'm looking at you guys). 

Can Indian Motorcycles really claim that they are America's FIRST motorcycle company? I don't think that there should be any question here- out of the current American motorcycle brand's that are in production at the time I'm writing this, the Indian name came first in the history books, so yeah, they can have that one.

Can Indian Motorcycles really claim "Since 1901"? I'm going to have to say that, while technically, the "since" could be loosely interpreted as the originating year (despite it's many failings that followed), it's a lie by omission. For Harley-Davidson, they have been in production since 1903. They were bought out for 12 years, but during that time frame, they were still developing and building new motorcycles under the Harley-Davidson name, unlike the original Indian Company that died off in 1953. There was a 45 year gap in time, from when the last, original company built, Indian Motorcycle rolled off the line in 1953 until the next Indian Motorcycle was built in 1998. For all intents and purposes, Indian Motorcycles was dead and buried in 1953. It may have been resurrected a few times after that, but, let's be honest with ourselves here- the only thing that is genuine "Indian, since 1901" about all of the new iterations of Indians (including the Polaris built bikes) is the name. To their credit, Polaris designed their own, original power plant, they designed and built their own frames and suspension and they are using their own bike designs. There isn't anything that was taken from the original 1901-1953 Indian Motorcycle Company except the name, though, so no... Indian's slogan of "Since 1901" is a lie, as there is no true heritage or design evolution in their bikes. Not like there is with Harley-Davidson motorcycles, anyway. With Harley-Davidson, you can see the evolution of the machine, year after year, decade after decade, for the past 117 years. 

A lot of people that read my blog and watch my videos might come to the conclusion that I'm a died in the wool Harley-Davidson guy. While I do have a few Harleys, I wouldn't classify myself as a Harley guy. Instead, I'm just a motorcycle guy. I happen to have Harleys because I've managed to score some really good deals on some broken down bikes and I have just enough knowledge to get them running again. I'm not opposed to owning an Indian (or any other make for that matter), but I just haven't come across the right deal on one. 

Look, the bottom line is this, Polaris is building some amazing bikes under the Indian moniker and I, absolutely, love it. Maybe, just maybe this latest revival will force Harley-Davidson to step up their game and start building a better product at a more affordable price. I'll be doing a long-term (three years!) review of my 2017 Harley-Davidson Road King Special on my vlog soon and, while I like the bike... I've got a few bones to pick with the MoCo about it. 

So, if I like the Polaris Indians so much, why didn't I buy an Indian Springfield Dark Horse instead of a Road King Special? Simple, I like the dealer network offered by Harley-Davidson better; I like the enormous aftermarket that is available for Harley-Davidson motorcycles better; I prefer going to exclusive dealerships for my bikes and parts, instead of having to walk past lines of jet skis, side-by-sides, ATVs and several other brands of street bikes, just to get to the section of the shop where I can find a specific part for my bike and; most of all, I simply like the Road King better. 

That's not to say it's a better bike, it's just the one that I like the best and ultimately, that's the only thing that really matters. 

Polaris Indian logo, "Since 1901"? I don't think so.

The last original Indian, the 1953.

IMCA Indian, a Harley dressed in Indian clothes?

The Stellican Indian, a beautiful original.

The Polaris Indian, possibly the best version yet?

Are you a REAL biker?

How do you know if you are a REAL biker?

I cringed as I typed that. Seriously, I can’t stand it when we label people. Labels are for underwear and beer bottles, not for people. We all do it; we label everyone. This person is my “best friend and ” that person is my “socafriend” (you’re welcome for that one, by the way); George is a “freak”; Candice is a “slut”; Fred is a “loser”; Tom is a “biker.” We just can’t help ourselves. 

So, how do know if you’re a REAL biker? Well, let’s take a look and see if we can figure out what a real biker actually is. The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines a biker as, “a person who rides a bicycle or motorcycle” while the Urban Dictionary defines a biker as “someone who not only owns a motorbike but rides it for pleasure as well as mere transport. They tend to be a friendly bunch but any who crosses them will be ‘persuaded’ not to do so again!” Ooohh… UD's definition seems pretty ominous, right? Of course, the Urban Dictionary is implying that a “biker” is someone that may, or may not, be associated with a certain group, or groups, of motorcycle enthusiasts that don’t necessarily consider themselves to be a part of the “99%” of law abiding motorcyclists out there. While not every entry into the Urban Dictionary may be on par with our trusty Merriam-Webster's, the UD certainly is reflective of our societal trends and common colloquialisms. Take the word “ratchet” for example, UD says that “ratchet” is “a ghetto-dialect mispronunciation of the English term "wretched." Meanwhile, we all know that a ratchet is a tool that we use when we are wrenching on our bikes. As it were, it seems that the only thing that these two, certainly reliable sources of literary information, have in common is that for there to be a biker, there must be a bike. 

If we can all agree that a biker has to have a motorcycle, we can move on to dissecting the “REAL” part of the term. We don’t need a dictionary to tell us what real is, we all know what’s real and what isn’t, so what makes a biker real or not? Is it his clothes- does he have to wear a leather vest with patches to be real? If so, what about all those motorcycle clubs that wear denim? Would you be so bold as to walk up to a group of them and inform them that their Levi Strauss denim vests do not meet the proper “leather vest” requirements, therefore they may not refer to themselves or their counterparts as “real bikers”? Perhaps the measure is their particular state of employment? Does a person have to be employed in some kind of labor trade to be a “real” biker, or can they be a doctor, an engineer or maybe even a cop? For that matter, can a woman be a real biker? What about a homosexual? 

Maybe we are just overthinking this whole damn thing… maybe it is as simple as their motorcycle? Perhaps, as the common perception goes, the only real bikers are Harley-Davidson owners. Unless, that is the particular biker in question does not have a Harley, but rather, he has a 1945 Indian… then maybe he can be a real biker. But, wait... what about the guy that rides the vintage Triumph chopper? You know, the guy that hand built his own hardtail frame then rebuilt a Triumph pre-unit that he found in a junkyard, bolted it in, then rode the ole beast across the country? Can he be a real biker, even though he’s kicking around on an old British powered machine? What about the guy in Japan that cut, chopped and built a badass custom bike out of a 1986 Honda Goldwing? And since we are talking about Goldwings, what about the Goldwing riders that have over 300,000 miles on their bikes and have ridden their machines in all four seasons in every state (and abroad) wearing their hi-viz jackets and mustard yellow safety helmets? Are they real bikers? What about Ted Simon, you know the guy that wrote the book, Jupiter's Travels (which, if you haven't read it, I HIGHLY recommend that you do)? Ted Simon wrote that book after he spent four years riding his 500cc 1973 Triumph T100 around the world through 45 countries. Is Ted Simon a real biker? You're damned right he is.

You see, I've known a lot of people that have Harley-Davidson motorcycles who say that people who ride bikes like Suzuki GSXRs, Kawasaki Ninjas, Yamaha Stratoliners or Honda Shadows can’t be real bikers, no matter how dedicated to riding they are, simply because they don't ride American bikes. These are the same guys, by the way, that have their $25,000 Harley-Davidsons parked in the garage 10 months out of the year. You know them, they are the guys that brag about all the rallies they go to, yet their bikes see more miles riding on the back of a trailer than they do rolling on their own rubber; they're the same guys that only ride to the local bike nights whenever the weather is "Goldilocks perfect." I’ve also heard that only men can be real bikers, but I've seen some ladies rippin' the curves in the mountains and they sure as hell looked like real bikers to me. I've known a few folks that live, as the polite folks would say- an alternative lifestyle, that ride motorcycles (some of whom ride Harley-Davidsons). I know cops that are in motorcycle clubs and I've seen more than a few nurses, doctors and several engineers that ride. 

Growing up as a ginger kid, I was given plenty of labels. It certainly didn't help that I wore those auburn locks in a fantastically awful, late '80's powered mullet and wore ripped up, stone-washed jeans. In my youth, I had a few second-hand dirt bikes and I took an old Suzuki GN400X that came to our house in boxes, fumbled my way through putting it back together not knowing what the hell I was doing, and got it running. I rode that thing until my folks got rid of it one day while I was at school. All their best efforts to protect their baby boy from the dangers of two wheels was all for naught, though. I started back on a Kawasaki EX500, then I moved on to cruisers. I've had a couple of Hondas, a Yamaha and... well... a few different Harley-Davidsons. It's bizarre to see it typed out, but I've ridden over 100,000 miles of paved roads on two wheels and countless miles of dirt trails. Does that make me a real biker? Honestly, I don't know, and frankly, I don't care. Neither should you. If you want to call yourself a biker, or even the highly coveted real biker, then go for it. It's just a silly label anyway.